Dark Hygge

By Ichiro Kishimi , reviewed by Lauren Kay

The courage to be disliked huh? Well I already have a sneaking suspicion that I AM disliked…how neat that I’ve stumbled upon a book that will tell me about how there’s courage in being so…

Much like the Youth of this book, I went into this with a certain chip on my shoulder. Felt like I could use a little “fuck everyone else” messaging to motivate me.

How surprised I was when one of the central themes of this book was quite the opposite. That ultimately we will find solace in a sense of belonging and community. That all problems are interpersonal relationship problems. This reading is an approachable and fascinating way to be introduced to Alfred Adlers philosophical teachings.

The teachings are told through the conversations of a Philosopher and Youth, who has sought out the Philosopher in hopes of debating that his viewpoints are wrong. While the youth is at times purposefully a little insufferable, it gives the perfect pair of shoes to step into while absorbing the Philosophers thoughts. These thoughts, at times, went against what I believed about people. Namely, he comes out of the gate swinging with the assertion that ~trauma~ does not exist. And like the youth, I scoffed out loud, dismissing it as ridiculous and ready to dnf. But as I continued to listen, I came around to understand his meaning and it’s intention.

I’ll be honest there were times when it lost me a little, or when the discussion format felt a little tired, but ultimately I haven’t felt philosophically challenged/stimulated in so long and this was such a timely and wonderful read for someone like me, who’s carrying a little chip on their shoulder, wanting to not care about being disliked, but who deep down craves nothing more.

The tenets of this book have widened the door to the perspective that harmony comes when you accept that you are the only person who can change your life and that you must discard other people’s tasks. When you eliminate the ways in which you unconsciously create hierarchies between people, the world will become a less scary place. To achieve a sense of belonging and community you must be useful to someone outside of yourself. These things take courage, you have to have the courage to be happy.

“The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.”

Thought-provoking and refreshing ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️